Vacation

Dear Inmates,

I will leave the asylum on vacation in about three hours from now. You all received medication a fortnight’s worth so you should be fine.

Maybe a pretty grumpy guy by the name of Phil will drop by walking my honorary pet, Cederq, a French Pitbull. Both of them can’t be considered housetrained so better not open your door lest they’d pee in some corner. One because of incontinency, the other out of pure spite.

If ya hear ’em rummaging around in my office tell them that there’s neither likker nor dog food to have but be careful since one might throw some antique tool at you while the other might bite your crotch.

In case of real emergency please call egorr & deathray, whose phone numbers I left scribbled in the bathroom’s second stall on the left. They’ll take care of them both. If they come to your aid please be advised to use some means of hearing protection since two double barreled12-gauge rifles are very loud inside of a small room.

Au revoir!

7 thoughts on “Vacation

  1. John

    Wow Unfuck, they’re cranking off 12-bore double rifles INSIDE your toilet? A 12 gauge shotgun would have been overkill. Damn, you must have big roaches!

    Like

  2. Cederq

    12 Gauge rifle Un? I know you are gun shy over there, but? Hey, I am house trained, the only thing you have to worry about is me dry humping your leg and if a lady me poking my nose under your skirt. Besides, egorr is up hosting a campground with no campers… and Deathray, I am not sure what he does all day except to watch pornhub and scratch himself silly. You have a wonderful vacation and be sure to check every where in your abode, least I find a small out of the way place and leave a small parting gift. Also, Phil won’t throw an antique tool at you, only modern chinesuim crap tools he gets from Harbor Freight.

    Like

  3. Deathray

    Now I’ll have to change my number

    Had a gal leave it on a wall in bar far down the Chesapeake years ago
    And I was getting calls all hours of the day for 2-3 years.

    Like

    1. Cederq

      Give me your number Death and I would call you at 2 Am… Hey Unflocked, did you take the post down lambasting me as a French Bulldog driving? I wanted to get the gif off of that and I can’t find it on your blog.

      Like

      1. Deathray

        Both of you are going to get fined for exploiting that poor pup
        for associating the thing with your corruptive likeness.

        Like

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