Happy Birthday Greta!

You’re eighteen now. Wow,
I cannot write a lot about you or your birthday because, as you are surely aware, the more we’re using the Internet the more CO2 we’re emitting. You explained that awhile ago.
I don’t light a candle for the same reason.
I won’t mention your full name either because you have registered it as a trademark.
So happy birthday and my regards to your therapist.

41 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Greta!

      1. Unfuck U

        Sorry guys but she’s beyond help.
        In order for mind-altering meds doing their magic there’s gotta be at least some brain.

        Like

  1. Pingback: Happy Birthday Greta! — UNFUCK U | Vermont Folk Troth

  2. Johno

    Deathray, I bet you could give young Greta quite a birthday gift, seeing as she’d be the only (human) female you’ve ‘gifted’ for a while. Mind you, maybe you’d better stock up on paper bags in case she wants to check out the ecology of your north pole!

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    1. Deathray

      Poor boy, you don’t get it.
      I find the ” normal/sane ” ones are mostly insane.
      I wouldn’t let her anywhere near me.
      I don’t have anything to concern myself about it though because the entourage she travels with wouldn’t let her come to where I lay my head. Kinda hard to prove global warming here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Johno

        But DR, I thought Al Gore foretold of polar bears becoming homeless aliens, like Democrat voters, and then using their white bear privilege to push the brown and black bears south? Bear lives matter!

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      2. Cederq

        If they have a XX chromosome, they are insane. It is encoded with in their genome. Females are only good for one thing and even then they can fuck it up…

        Like

  3. Johno

    Unfuck, that means she has been legal game for two years, but is so angry because she still can’t score a boyfriend. With a face like a dog that has been chasing parked cars, perhaps Greta Thugly would be a good name?

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    1. Unfuck U

      I think you’re mistaken about ugly females not being bedded.
      There ain’t no ugly female as soon the lights are out. An alternative would be closing your eyes and thinking about Cindarella.
      People of the Far North and those living in the Outback know that technique quite well I have been told.

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      1. Deathray

        Un, we have months here that the sun never sets.
        My point is , it is never dark enough.
        Even in the deepest crevices of Dirty Johno’s twisted mind.

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  4. Johno

    Sorry, but the signifigance of your reference to Cinderella eludes me. In my younger years, beer goggles were the thing for my mates when out on the town. I however, saved on drink expenses, and my liver, by simply removing my specs, then all the girls were suitably blurry!

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  5. Johno

    Hey Unfuck, we’ve established that paper bags are used in Alaska, beer goggles in Queensland, and darkness in Austria, all of which still hasn’t got Greta laid yet. I feel that you should put the resources of your asylum behind getting her a boyfriend, or even a quickie, in order to save the world from that pouting, anal-retentive little bitch telling the world how they must live their lives. I vote that Deathray find her a Sasquatch to satisfy her needs, though not sure now if they do have two genders, he’s never said.

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      1. Deathray

        That constant darkness is a myth.
        Only if above the artic circle. That’s a small part of the state.
        On the shortest day I have over 4 hrs. of sunshine.

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    1. Unfuck U

      Mug, the picture you‘ve posted is forbidden over here.
      At least that’s the message I get.
      Don’t make me break our Austrian laws by begging you to find another way showing me your forbidden fruits !

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      1. Cederq

        Un, have Phil post it on his blog… if it is illegal there, you sure can bet Phil will post it double here.

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  6. Cederq

    I am of the same vein as Deathray, I wouldn’t bed her with your pathetic, marsupial mating appendage John0 of Queensland. I suggest you do the honors Johno, YOU ARE THE MAN! Only you can bring that budding flower to full fruition and satisfaction…

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  7. Johno

    Cederq, I will, but only if I can use your dick for the deed. Wait, why is there any call at all for a non-European to deflower die jung Führer, when there is a much closer candidate? C’mon Unfuck, surely Mrs Unfuck U will let you off the leash, just for this one important job? You owe it to your blog readers, and mankind in general, “to end up to your nuts in Greta’s guts”, and put a satisfied smile on that sourpuss’s face! We know you can do it, so prove us right.

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      1. Johno

        Unfuck, regarding that German Shepherd, maybe such a dog could be a boyfriend for the scowling young frump? The last year must have been hard for her to retain any relevance, being shunted aside by a version of the annual sniffles season. I live in a coastal town, as the majority of Aussie population clings to the greener edge of the continent, but I’m yet to see any of the forecast sea level rising that she preaches, and her previous ilk have foretold for decades.

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      2. Cederq

        Oh yeah, UnF, I would too bed that, I kinda like them with a little meat to the bones and that she is blond, icing on the cake… I bet she has never heard of Australia…

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  8. Johno

    You alright there DR, been smoking moose droppings again? Such a centrefold would have had to be printed on unbleached recycled matte paper, and just reveal nought but a scar, as her box would have healed shut from lack of use. Anyway, Cedreq is the expert on Commie’s cunts, from his years as HRC’s gynaecology servicer. I’ll leave you with the mental image of having a threesome with Hillary and Greta, no need to thank me, you’re welcome!

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    1. Cederq

      Johno, I am sure UnF can recommend a qualified therapist, even in the dry wasteland that is Queensland that specializes in schizoid delusions and suffers from persecution complex…. You could be a jolly right fellow iffn’ you take him up on that.

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  9. Johno

    Unfuck, so many young European, Canuck and US women tourists come to visit Australia, but never return home, why? Well it isn’t some sort of Wolf Creek mystery, the answer is simple. All those women found their life’s satisfaction when they came into contact with the Aussie male, and realised that they couldn’t face a future back ‘home’, not with their testosterone deprived soy-boy males. When your women get a taste of Aussie meat, their home-grown vege-burger has no appeal. Hey fellas, thanks for raising and supplying us with all your fine women. You’ve only got the Gretas left at home, enjoy them!

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  10. Johno

    Well Unfuck, they are lost, lost to you blokes anyway. It seems to be quite common for women visitors to become lifetime residents here. An analogy could be of fishing: luring, hooking and landing a big catch, we Aussie blokes don’t use fishing tackle on your women, but our wedding tackle! We keep the good ones, and throw the rest back. Then there are the Greta Thugly ones left for your sons, they are the in the fermented herring class of catch. Obviously, not all Swedish chicks are like the two ABBA girls.

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  11. Johno

    Unfuck, you landed your prize catch years ago. If your missus has any single female relatives, make sure and tell them to go holiday in the tropical north of Queensland. Unlike in that freezing Alaskan wilderness, they won’t need to pack much in the way of clothing for this locale. I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for any Italian redheads. If I marry her, you and I will be mattress rellies!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Johno

    A ‘mattress rellie’ is Aussie slang that covers any indirect relative’s non-blood relationship to you, no matter how tenuous. It could be an in-law’s sibling or partner, OTOH it could be your S-I-L’s stepson’s ex-wife. A catch-all term.

    Liked by 1 person

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