32 thoughts on “A vid 4 u guys

  1. Phil

    I’m just tickled shitless for ya!
    OK, I want video of it being delivered, uncrated and being moved into position.
    Then I want video of it getting wired in.
    After that I want to see the first run and you can start that video with the first heat of your steel.
    Hell yeah!
    I am so happy for you!
    After you get some time with this thing under your belt let us know what to expect for pricing because I already pretty much know what I want and it’s not a pointy knife.
    More like a very small cleaver with a wood handle.

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    1. Unfuck U

      Feeling cleaverish?
      LOL, no problem Phil.
      Why don’t you make a drawing right in the size you want it to be?
      After that just scan it 1:1 and please use A4 format since US letter and the like skews the dimensions as soon as I try converting or printing it.
      Regarding the videos – I can only promise to try taking pictures of the unloading and placement process since it would be my very self doing that work.
      I won’t be needing to wire the baby in because I have talked with those guys selling these presses – and we agreed that he will install a plug on the cable so I will just have to plug it in.
      Documenting the first forging process with the press shouldn’t be a problem, Phil. I will do that.
      The pricing depends a bit on the average market price for whatever you order as well as on the steel being used, and the time spent making it.
      Since most parts of the calculation can be based on a good guess I will be able to tell the approximate final price – give or take twenty bucks.
      What I will be doing though is asking a fifty percent advance payment for custom orders.
      No worries though – within the next weeks there should be many different knives available which you will be able to buy like you’d do in any other online shop.

      How about a suggestion:
      The first custom order coming in will be documented and the video will not only be posted here but also put on DVD and sent along with the blade!

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      1. Phil

        Let me dig out basically what I want you to duplicate and send you a picture. I will set it next to a tape measure so you will have spec’s.

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    1. Cederq

      Un, what do you think we go through converting inches/foot to that damn communist base ten nightmare ya’ll call metric…..

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      1. Unfuck U

        Dunno about metric being communist but what really rattles my brain is when ppl start talking about three eights of an inch or shit like that.
        Some system that’s decimal based makes a whole lot of sense to me.

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      2. Cederq

        3/8 in is .375 decimal is 9.5250 mm, easy peasy UN…. that is why conversion charts are made.

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  2. Unfuck U

    Yeah right.
    Would be far too easy having a decimal system. Just think of the conversion table industry! Without that dinosaur-shitty imperial system they’d all be jobless.
    At least you’re not driving on the wrong side of the road.
    Like, say, Australians do.

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    1. Cederq

      Un, ya gotta admit, the Imperial System does have tighter tolerances, have stronger tension and compression values and as you pointed out as been around since dinosaurs has been a proven, working measurement system that just works. No reason for comparison charts except from fractions to decimal points and using it you learn them anyway. Besides, I have stated it before, inches got us to the moon… and fouling up meters to feet got satellites plummeting back to earth… or not work.

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      1. Unfuck U

        Dinosaurs might have liked using the imperial system.
        They’re extinct now.
        Miles might have gotten you to the moon but confusing miles and kilometers killed a Mars satellite a couple of years ago.
        KISS – keep it stupid simple!
        Ten fingers and not seven eights of inch divided by a tenth of a foot is comprising your hands.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Johno

    Unfuck, you gotta hand it to him. Cederq is still deluded that they went to the moon back in ’69, and left some inscribed 10mm sockets up there as proof. What a stooge! Hey, why not offer up a special alloy knife steel smelted from moon rock ore? It’ll have plenty of carbon, as it was just petrified wood chunks.

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    1. Unfuck U

      Moon rocks?
      You mean moon rocks like those the American government handed out as big time presents to dignitaries all over the world in the 60‘s?
      Like those moon rocks they later found out weren’t extraterrestrial at all?
      LOL

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  4. Johno

    I thought I’d stir Cederq up, but he’s too busy fomenting insurrection to notice. His pal Deathray is back from his ‘hunting trip’, but has no bearskin to display. Maybe he trapped a few ermine to trim Frau Unfuck’s mink coat? If no, then I suspect that the only animal he was hunting was beaver, not at a beaver pond though, but the one belonging to his friendly liberal librarian! Phil’s toolshed blog is running hot and wild today. I find the Yank’s hold to imperial measurements illogical. They left most distance measurement alone, but revised their volume measures, like their version of the English language. But them, and you Unfuck, will have dificulty if the Stasi ever allow international tourism again: if you come to the south Pacific countries, you’ll be driving on the left hand side and upside-down too!

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    1. Unfuck U

      Dunno what it would take in order to get me interested in Down Under. I guess I am just another victim of bad propaganda in that matter.
      If you could show me a real nice place in Kangaroo country where summer temperatures match those of Denmark I might be tempted.
      The older I become the less I am tolerant to hot climates, you know.

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      1. Johno

        Herr Doktor, that is easy: Tasmania or any of the lower half of mainland Australia, except in the height of summer, not unlike much of Europe, except for the wattle and eucalypts, and marsupial animals. Or, New Zealand, the Un Zids already think like many Euros do, and the climate is quite cool, to fucking freezing.

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  5. Unfuck U

    Agreed sounds nice!
    As soon the Austrians have successfully invaded Australia and New Zealand liberating Kiwis and Kangaroos from their fascist yoke I will plan my vacation on my new estates accordingly.
    Provided you behave nicely you may serve me as my favorite underling, HAR HAR!

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  6. Johno

    Herr Generalissimo Unfuck, just make sure that you use the Austrian Navy to do it! Um, you’re a bit late, the Chicoms already own all the high finance and income-earning spots and utility services. Those clowns in the US didn’t have the guts to fight for their Australian colony, so they did a deal with the Chinks, one Commie crowd or the other, what a choice! Hey, Yanks deride metric measurements, but they’re always keen to liberate metric tools, like 10mm sockets!

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  7. Johno

    Inches got you to the moon? Your fractions of inches got you: “four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all”. Still, those inch fractions must come in handy when denoting cock size for replies to personal ads in GayMechanics.com!

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    1. Johno

      That gaymechanics.com jibe was a reply to Cederq, the Unfuck software doesn’t talk to the app that I’m using. Deathray says that he’ll order a pair of blades, one for Nurse Sandy who comments on Phil’s blog, in which case, Unfuck, you should inlay a pink ribbon in both handles, so that both users are satisfied with the aesthetics.

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  8. Johno

    Herr Unfuck: “how do I attach tits to that knife of yours?” Well, simple really, just adjust the belt and hanger so they are protected by the mammary overhangs of the russet-haired Austrian maiden that you ship as protective packing for the short sword. Phil has been busy cultivating a lady commenter on his toolshed blog, Nurse Sandy. She has Cederq and Deathray so frightened that they’re holding their wee-wees in terror, at least they say that it is so. She seems a nice lady, so she may not want to visit the asylum, although I’ll invite her.

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    1. Unfuck U

      Soooo…
      That makes me wonder what Phil will do with that cleaver once he’ll get it.
      Do you think it’s meant to be a gift for that scary lady?

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  9. Johno

    Phil seems to like using his barbecue, maybe he’ll cleave chops with it? Strangely, he attracts nice women to his toolshed blog. Something that is missing here, and the visuals of your ‘female’ adherents are not to be pondered over. Surely, Unfuck, you can round up a nice redheaded female forge apprentice, or two? I’ve heard that eastern European girls are good with their hands.

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    1. Unfuck U

      I think I have found an ideal therapy for you!
      Surety you know that game “The Sims”, don’t you?
      There’s one that might be a little hard to find but you should be able to get a copy:
      “The Sims: medieval”
      You’re the king of a patch of countryside and you’re trying to make the best of it.
      When you go down to the village you’ll find a blacksmith’s forge- and the blacksmith happens to be very nice and friendly young single lady who’s thrilled receiving the king’s attention…
      A nice game perfect for your needs.
      It’s all about social interactions 😀

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  10. Johno

    Thanks for the suggestion, Herr Doktor. Keep them coming, even though I don’t know of which you speak, I’ve heard and read, of computer simulation games. One day, I intend to have a go at flight sims I’ve read of, like Il-2 Shturmovik. Apparently, if your computer is powerful enough and you have a high-speed connection, you can play against other people around the globe, in real time. Sadly (for me!), poverty, and disability, precludes such outlay. Chronic acute pain can be a downer, but I’m coughing up $ for taxi rides too, to get my intraocular injections and laser zaps, I’d be had it if I was paying for the treatment itself. But if I feel sad, I just imagine what it would be like inside the asylum, with Cederq as my nurse. Oh, oh, the horror!

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    1. Unfuck U

      Dunno if Sturmovik has a multiplayer mode, too – I guess it’s gotta be around here somewhere – but I know that Sim-game is definitely not to be played online.
      And it’s old, too so your computer should be able to handle it.

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  11. Johno

    Sorry, Unfuck. My ‘computer’ is an old phone with a (barely working) OperaMini app. I’m too skint to buy those other things, and too crook to work to get that sort of money: the detritus of humanity. My one (affordable) joy left is stirring your pals Cederq and Deathray. Pretty pathetic, hey? But, so far, that is an inexhaustible pasttime.

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    1. Unfuck U

      Way better than punching your childhood’s teddy bear at your mother’s home, right?

      (Sorry if that was too much. I didn’t want to hurt your teddy)

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      1. Johno

        You’ve got it wrong, Herr Unfuck. We punch koala bears here. Deathray supposedly punches grizzly bears, while Cederq is just after the teddy wearers, not the bears.

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