36 thoughts on “Video: Sword fighting? Hold my beer!

  1. Johno

    Herr Unfuck, is it true that you satiate the demand for blood of each of your blades by plunging them into a criminal invader’s body, or is that a prior generation of Unfuck bladesmiths, an ancestor? Do you need a fresh Moslem for each blade, or do you wait for one to heal up again? Just wondering, I’m curious about such things.

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  2. Sandy

    Yikes! That will leave a bruise. No, a scar. A big scar. And hopefully he will re-evaluate his life choices.

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  3. Cederq

    Ya know UnF, WW3 will be fought with nukes, WW4 will be fought with sticks and spears and swords… you will make a killing, sort of.

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  4. Johno

    Herr Nnfuck, WTF?? I’m away for weeks, undergoing tortures and constant agony, I come back to…SFA! Nothing has happened here, was ist los? Remember, I failed 8th grade German, and I’m not much better at zie Englischer sprechen.

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    1. Cederq

      Johno, it is as hard to understand Aussie… and I know I don’t speak German and I am not sure if Death can, I know UnFuck can…

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    2. Unfuck U

      Uh, Phil just asked me the same the other day.
      I am really a lot into blade smithing right now and there’s days I won’t be turning home before three o’clock in the morning.
      I finally decided upon my new collection of very very fine knives and now I’m into making them. I would like having made at least fifty pieces in different sizes until the end of October.
      I really would love making the next smithing video but it’s really time consuming making those.
      I’d rather make one more damascus knife instead as things are now.
      Within the next two weeks I will provide you with a presentation of all the new stuff I made in the meantime.

      Sorry for my silence here – man at work 😄

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  5. Deathray

    We’ve all been waiting patiently and holding our breath to find out if you can see or not Aussie.
    Just a longer version of a moment of silence.
    Now that we know you’re alive, not behind bars, and haven’t been shot, tazed, pepper sprayed, or trampled underfoot, we can all get back to our daily lives.

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  6. Johno

    Deathray, that’s only cos nobody thought an old fart like me could march (I can’t, me and the floor are not exactly strangers), so nobody invited me. When I got there, all the Black Marias were full, so they tried to Taser me, but I move so slow, that the cunting dumb-shit cops (a little redundancy there) fired ahead of me with too much lead, and shocked each other! The dogs they sicced on me didn’t cope too well with all the pepper spray they fired, and you know how well cunting cops shoot, too busy bashing old people or rolling drunks for money to practice. Sound like your former colleagues, Deathray? The truth is that I’ve been incapacitated by medically caused blindness and induced chronic acute pain (you always wonder at the body’s ability to convey new, different and exquisite agony, time and time again. Yet skimp on dulcet tones, beautiful sights or smells). I’m known by sight and reputation at hospital EDs in Brisbane and Cairns. The Sisters: “Sir, you can’t lay on the floor!” Me: “Then please give me a bed to do it with.”, cos you don’t ever give lip to the nurses, doing an already shitty job. No, you save that for the ‘droided-up Security morons (private, but State employed), those who’ve obviously never read a history book, to find out the thanks their SA-type tactics and uniforms will get them. You can practically see their handful of brain cells go “Huh?” I may be stupid enough to be replying to you and the new uber-Cederqx’s snark, but I’m just smart enough to pick my battle-ground for best advantage, Deathray. Well, to be honest, I have to, the Commie Cuntz give me no say otherwise. I’m 2/3 blind and crippled, no danger whatsoever to an SA or SD numbskull functionary, a schuPo or kriPo either (in keeping with Unfuck’s Germanic asylum).

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    1. Deathray

      As for the “snark” that Cederq and I dish out on you, understand that it is all in jest, and that we enjoy picking on you because you make us laugh. (Most of the time)
      I’m sorry to hear that you’re having so many health issues, and hope that you get some relief.
      I can’t imagine having those eyesight problems that you mentioned.
      I know that every time I look through a scope on a rifle I’m reminded that my damn eyes are getting worse with age.

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  7. Cederq

    Yeah Johno, we love us some Aussie ! We pick on you because if we pick on Phil he will ban us… I had my eyes check last Wednesday, which I have every year due to Diabetic Retinopathy and the ophthalmologist found a bleeder in my right eye close to the Fovea, the area in the back where images are focused and close to the optic nerve. I will be going in next week and having laser surgery to zap the bleeding capillary. That explains why I have had some slight blurring in my eye. Besides all my other problems. We are in a club Johno, worn out, old broken men that have found each other to commiserate over the aches and pains of old age, and a turbulent youth and young men that were rough and tumble and been put away wet.

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    1. Deathray

      Oh good lord Cederq,
      All you have done by posting that is ensure Nurse Ratchet, er, I mean Sandy will be coming on here and basically calling us a bunch of broke dicks again.

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      1. Cederq

        Yes, I see that, but at least we are still standing vertical to be called broke dicks…That is why she has her rough, ram rod straight Marine husband… I bet he ain’t broke dick.

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      2. Sandy

        You know I didn’t mean to offend, right? Just my sick, twisted sense of humor. I’m actually quite fond of you guys and care about all of you, Motley Crue that you are.

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      3. Cederq

        Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. You can not offend us, we are immune and are bigger offenders. Guys like us bring our A game to offend someone. We are professional, so don’t do this at home… If you haven’t caught on to our sick, twisted sense of humor. It is refreshing a lady can relish it and not be offended. No worries mate.

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  8. Johno

    Again? Damn, I missed that. Just one more on a long list. I’d pay good money to see Nurse Sandy using one of Doktor Unfuck’s blunt hypo needles on you two! The floor and me are not strangers. When a taxi dropped me at the wrong check-in at Brisbane airport, I collapsed while trying to walk the distance, and it put the young Jetstar staff in a flap. I thought I’d get to replay the old Snickers ad joke, getting the kiss-of-life from a hot young air hostess. Just my ‘ken luck, a male steward beat them to the draw, so I declined his assistance. I explained that it was just pain and crushed nerves, not a heart thing. Jetstar wouldn’t let me fly for 24 hours, no boarding, fuck you. So no flight home, no accomadation, no money, no meds (as I only took enough for the trip), and a fuck you from Jetstar. They’ve got hot hosties, but. BTW CedreX, enjoy that laser, when they go back and forth over a nerve to make sure that it takes.

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  9. Johno

    But still, where is Unfuck? Did Frau Unfuck catch him leering at one of Nurse Sandy’s email pics? I don’t know that I can take CedreX controlling any more of the interweb. It’s like a bad movie plot come true!

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  10. Johno

    Cederq, I don’t know what the docs did inside my eye. I mentioned the incident while intubated and asleep, but while in recovery I awoke alone, in a dark room with just machinery lights and in great pain. I didn’t know where I was, or why. I think I supposed I’d been in a fight or a car prang, and apparently ripped my eye dressing off. When the nurses found me, there was a flap. One of the surgeons told me what I did during the op, well I couldn’t help it. That was 19 days ago, a nightmare of blindness, and endless agony that is tapering off now that I got Codeine (tapentadol didn’t work). I didn’t expect the rule re keeping your head face down for 45 mins of every hour for 2 weeks, for the oil to keep the retina pressed against the membrane. Good luck with that shit, especially the unattainable luxury of sleep. Still can’t see, lucky some sight returned to my left eye just prior, I’m using a magnifying glass to text this. And Deathray, I broke my hot shower drought while in hospital. Twice, what luxury! Next on my bucket list is restfull painless sleep, maybe when they kill me?

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  11. Johno

    Unfuck, you explained that you can’t weld stainless steels into your carbon type damascene steels. But, could you pattern weld two, or more, similar stainless steel types, so that you create a pattern-welded stainless blade? That would look so cool!

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    1. Sandy

      I would be that asshole, motherfucker!

      It was actually an accident. I was scrolling through the comments with my left thumb and accidentally hit the thumbs down button. My bad. But maybe it was a Freudian slip.

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      1. Deathray

        Ha, well I’m glad to see that I haven’t lost my detective abilities at solving uncomplicated issues.
        But maybe they we just my spidy scenes that were tingling.

        Oh and Cederq, I don’t think she completely read your statements.
        I don’t think that she does relish in it and she is mostly certainly offended.

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  12. Johno

    Okay, two things for Dok Unfuck when he finally gets hhs nose out of the forge. 1. Whenever miss Sandy does a smackdown on Heckle & Jeckle, can you please highlight it, maybe with a flashing arrow? I get little enough joy, and am scared I’ll miss out again. 2. You can vote against Deathray’s comments? Why was I not informed? Oh, the butthurt that would ensue! It is now apparent that the Operamini app I’m using does rearrange the page to suit my phone, and there is no such function, nor does selecting the ‘reply’ icon rarely put a rebuttal/reply in the intended spot. Too bad, there are a couple of ‘contributors’ to Unfuck’s blog that would need some bum cream for their piles, if so.

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  13. Johno

    Herr Unfuck, suggestions for successful operation of your forge: a well-stocked Esky; pizza and spums done in the forge; decent seating for the inmates. How soon will this be?

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    1. Unfuck U

      Don’t need no stinkin‘ Esky.
      Got a nicely sized fridge always well stocked with three kinds of beer!
      We could use the heat treatment oven for pizza since the inside of the forge is just a tad wider that a man’s hand.
      Decent seating can be arranged anytime.
      When will you come?

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      1. Deathray

        Nice to know that you keep the beer cold.
        Not like the dang Brits and drink it at room temperature.
        Hey Aussie, do you inhabitants of that island for the royal regects drink warm beer too?

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  14. Johno

    It is illegal anywhere in Australia, or it will be after the revolution, to offer beer for human consumption any warmer than 0.1C above the freezing point, or to be such a piss-poor frilly-pants drinker as to allow it to enwarmin up.

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  15. Johno

    Unfuck, I’ll have to run the glass closer over my phone: spums instead of spuds. Have you tried the kiddie’s softdrinks that the Yanks call beer? Such a low alcohol content, that it’s like having sex in a canoe: both fucking close to water!

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    1. Unfuck U

      Yuh I know these types:
      Big pitchers at the table, cheering with thinned piss in their mugs believing they’re drinking beer!
      Just watch them when they’re overseas like in the Czech Republic, Bavaria or Austria!
      Those poor sods never know which brick has hit them after emptying their second mug o’beer, REAL beer!

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      1. Johno

        You failed to name the brand and type of the 3 liquid medicines stocked in the Asylum’s fridge. Deathray will have to add some turps to his softdrink to lift the body and alcohol content, and taste.

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